Updated: Apr 8
Narcissism is an earthly term most of us are familiar with; a person who has little to no empathy. There is no angel or devil on their shoulder telling them right from wrong (also known as conscience) their number one task is making others feel inferior through abusive tactics so they can fill a void in themselves. What if these individuals are not in our lives by coincidence? What if the magnetism of narcissists to an empath is a part of a bigger picture? What if the connection between these two personalities is what helps in the greater plan at work behind the spiritual scenes of our lives?
There is a Narcissistic spectrum like other personality disorders but if you were to compare and contrast notes of the behaviors of several narcissistic people on different levels of the spectrum, you would find cross sections and similar behavior patterns with the lot. Their methods of operation read like they came out of a handbook. I like to say “same corporation, different division”. Narcissists have their own unique qualities, like all humans, that make them who they are as individuals, but the attributes that qualify them with a condition such as narcissistic personality disorder can be astoundingly parallel.
Narcissists are often drawn to Empathic personality types. Empaths are people who are highly sensitive to the needs and feelings of others, so much so that they may sacrifice their own desires or wants to satiate those in need. Narcissists see in empaths coveted traits they are incapable of having. In an effort to feel whole, they work to extinguish the light empaths carry. These personality types can also sense the emotional capabilities that empaths have to make those around them feel loved and purposeful in life. This makes an empath an easy target for the abuse in the relationship between these two personality types. What historically happens is a scary range of; mental, emotional and at times physical and sexual abuse. A pattern that can be kept alive by the empath’s capacity to believe there is good in everyone and the narcissist’s need for control by means of manipulation. It’s a tug of war between what can seem like love but is actually a formulated trauma bond. One hand feeds the other until the empath has that “AHA-moment”, they take their power back. The ignition switch to their voice, their strength, and their ability to stop sacrificing their own needs and choose themselves for what might be the first time ever, is turned on.
Soul growth happens when we are challenged in ways that may be excruciating and painful, but necessary. If we chose a life where our soul’s purpose is to find self-worth or step out of a role of victim, we may experience a relationship with a narcissist to fulfill these levels of growth. If you chose this aspect of growth for this lifetime and mapped it in your soul’s blueprint, is it fair to say the person assisting in your soul’s expansion by being the villain, sacrificed their own soul’s growth in this lifetime to help you accomplish yours? It seems as though in the earthly realm, they chose us, the loving and giving empaths, but what if it was us who ultimately chose them and the strength, we have gathered, can be attributed to the lessons set forth by a soul’s plan we both agreed to?
If you look around you, you may notice one or two narcissistic personality types or maybe you’ll find that you are surrounded by them. However, once you know their patterns and behaviors, you can almost anticipate their tactics before the next round of mind games where their work is to snuff out the light you have glowing inside of you. That is where your voice, strength and gathered knowledge can come in to help you move on, grow, and sever ties with the abuser. This gives depth and meaning to struggle. When we open ourselves up to dive deep into our life’s purpose, we may find that the ones who seem to plague us the most, are the ones who are helping us learn the most about ourselves and the strength and growth we ultimately came here for.
Jillian Semesnyei holds a degree in psychology but considers the hard-earned degree gained from truth-seeking and hands-on living more resourceful. A mother and wife first, Jillian enjoys spending her vocational time as a burgeoning writer, activist, homesteader, crafter, and is a business owner in the art of upcycling and furniture refinishing. Most of all, she seeks trust, clarity, friendship, and deep conversation. She can be reached at email@example.com